I had to hunt around online and drop forty fucking quid on a replacement charging brick, but the old Chromebook Pixel I was gifted by Google Open Source ten years ago does in fact live. However, Google identifies it as having passed End Of Life, decertified support, and refuses to update or sync. The latter seems like bullshit to me, really. And Google Docs insists that the un-updateable Chrome instance is unsupported. But! It turns out I can write in Google Docs just fine, and it auto-saves just fine. So I have what I wanted. It does one single thing very very well – auto-saved plaintext in a pleasant writing environment on an excellent keyboard. And, now I have a phone that won’t die when I ask it to do literally anything, I can use it as a hotspot for the Pixel, as I get 5G in the back garden, and write new short fiction at the patio table under the lilac tree. All good.