A big part of retiring from the world, and, additionally, taking a long winter hiatus to go Full Hermit, is that the job gets bigger and more complex and I need more time to, basically, stare into the distance and Figure Shit Out. The figuring out of the shit is a big part of this writer’s work. Always be ready to turn everything off and let your mind wander into the future.
It does, of course, look to everyone else like you’re not doing a damn thing. And, often, you don’t have anything to physically present for the hours you’ve burned staring at the wall or whatever.
It’s stressy, having to turn all the pieces of your career and vocation around in time and space and plot out as many of the paths forward in as many versions as your mind can carry. I am essentially just stress.
But. I’ve tried a lot of iterations on “being a writer” over the years, and, really, just being a writer and creator of things is the only thing that gives me pleasure. It’s all I like, it’s all I trust, and it never lies to me. So it’s all I’m going to do.
Find what gives you pleasure. Just do that. Turn everything else off. Live with the stress. Learn to love figuring the shit out.